Four years yesterday
by loser in the gutter
Summary: Roy, presumed dead, comes back to find Ed with a VERY unexpected surprise. post Mpreg.. royed dur...
1. A Man Named Mustang

A Man Named Mustang

Roy knew he had been away for a while. Okay, make that a long while. About 4 years, to be exact. And he had left to go to war, and had a horrible time there. His unit had gotten lost, and his plane **_(1)_** had crashed, and all sorts of crap happened. Then he, alone, had been rescued after the war had ended.

He was now on his way to the military base in Central. He had a large grin on his face as he opened the large doors. No one even gave him a glance. It was as if he were nothing to them. Roy sighed and went up to Hawkeye's desk.

"Can I help you, sir?" she asked. Roy noticed she had definitely changed. Her hair was worn down, and it flowed down to her ass.

"You mean you don't recognize me?" Roy asked with a smirk. She didn't move.

"I'm sorry, sir, no I don't. But I can help you if you are looking for someone."

Roy sighed. "Elric."

"Which Elric, sir?"

"Edward." '_Who else could it be?_' thought Roy.

"And what is your business with the Colonel?"

'What the hell? He's a Lt. Colonel?' "I am an… old friend." He decided that would be better than saying "I was his lover, and now I want to see my boyfriend again!"

"Alright then. Here is his address and phone number**_. (2) _**Good day, sir." Hawkeye handed him the paper and turned back to her work.

Roy was astonished to find out that Ed was living in Central. As Roy turned the corner he smiled. He pictured Ed's smiling face as he opened the door. He would wrap his arms around Roy and never let go.

Roy reached the house. He took a deep breath and headed up the steps. He paused as his finger hovered over the doorbell. '_Can't back down now,'_ He thought.

He rang the doorbell twice before someone opened the door. It was Ed, or, an older version of him. He had the same blonde hair, but it was in a ponytail in the back of his head. He was 20 now. Ed looked to be about 5' 11", just enough so his eyes met Roy's nose. Roy smiled.

"Can I help you?" Ed said with a grin.

Roy's heart broke. This was not the greeting he expected. "Of course you can, Ed." He said calmly.

Ed's smile faded. "How do you know my name?" he said harshly.

"Ed, it's me." Roy put a hand out. "It's me, Roy." A small grin came over Roy, but Ed glared at the dark haired man.

"I don't know who the hell you think you are but you are not Roy Mustang." Ed spat it out, tears forming in his eyes. "That bastard is dead and gone and I will NOT have you pretending to be him."

Just then, a little girl appeared behind Ed's legs. "Who's dis, Daddy?" she gave Roy a questioning look.

Ed bent down and came face to face with the girl. "It's no one, Nina. Now go back to your dinner." She did as she was told.

"Nina?" Roy asked as the blonde stood up. "You adopted a girl named Nina?" Roy felt a hard slap on his left cheek and saw Ed with tears finally falling.

"I have never adopted. Now get the hell out of here." Ed slammed the door on Roy's face.

'_Never adopted?'_ thought Roy. '_Then why did that little girl call him daddy?_' Roy was left to wander the streets as the sun set. He decided to get a room at a hotel and talk things over with Ed in the morning.

Ed smiled as he looked down at his sleeping daughter. Sure, it wasn't normal for a single guy to have a 3-year-old daughter, but it was normal for him. Ed turned off the light and walked out of Nina's room. He closed the door so that it was just open a crack, and then walked down the hallway.

Pictures were all over the walls of the hallway. There were pictures of Ed and Al as kids, of Havoc smoking in front of a "no smoking" sign, many of Nina growing up, and tons of Ed and Roy. Ed stopped in front of one.

It was of the day before Roy had gone off to war. They were sitting in Roy's office, on the couch. Ed was on Roy's lap, and Roy had a book in his hand. They were both glaring at whoever was taking the photo, which was most likely Hughes. Ed smiled as he thought of Roy.

"What a bastard." Ed whispered and the smile was gone. "Leaving me right when I needed him." '_And I can never forgive him for that._' Ed didn't dare say that when Nina was there. Even asleep, she might be able to hear him. Ed sighed and thought of his little Nina.

He had been with Roy for two years, and they had had sex a few times. Okay, maybe more than a few. But about three months before Roy left, they had sex without protection. And Ed hadn't realized it, but Roy had somehow gotten him pregnant. Now, when Ed found out, not only did he call the doctor a "dumb ass doc with no idea what the hell is wrong", but he had fainted after seeing the proof. He was going to have Roy Mustang's baby.

Yet Ed never told Roy. He was going to, but Roy left before he had the chance to. When the baby was born, a little girl, Ed had already chosen a name. Nina, after Nina Tucker, whom he felt should have a chance to live a nice, long, happy life. He was going to name her Trisha, but Winry and Al beat him to it. Yes, Al had gotten his body back and proposed to Winry and they had Trisha. But Nina, was Ed's little girl.

When Nina was one, Ed was only 17. But he waited for Roy to come home. Then, when Nina turned two, Ed got a letter from the military. It said that Roy's plane had crashed, and he was proclaimed dead. He did his best not to let Nina see him cry.

Nina looked like Roy. She had jet-black, thick hair. She even could smirk like him. She also had his cute nose and petite lips. But she had Ed's tan skin and golden eyes. She was the most beautiful thing in Ed's world.

Ed slipped off his clothes so he was just in his boxers. He then climbed into his large king sized bed. On his nightstand, which sat beside the bed, was a picture of Ed and Al once their bodies had returned to normal. There was also a picture of Nina, Trisha, and Sam, Trisha's little brother, opening their presents at Christmas. There was one other one, slightly covered in dust. It wasn't a picture though. It was a letter from Roy.

_Hey Ed,_

_God, war is even more brutal than before. But that's okay. I mean, I'm leaving soon. My flight leaves in about 4 hours. It won't be that long of a flight, and it's a real safe area. My main concern is how you're doing._

_I know you probably hate me for leaving you for war, but honestly, I couldn't sleep thinking you were going to have to see all this death. So I'm glad I convinced them to let you stay. You're way better off._

_Not that I mean you should go off and find someone else. Hell, once I come back I'll kill them for taking you. Nah, I won't. But that's not a promise I can keep. _

---New ink, probably a different day---

_I heard them saying we can come home soon. So don't you fret. I'll get home, alright. Nothing will stop me. I promise. _

_My plane's about to leave. I miss you so much I hide a photo of you under my shirt and helmet. The others make fun of me, but I don't care. I get to see you soon._

_Never forget me._

_Love, _

_Your Roy_

Ed closed his eyes and an image came to his mind. It was of that man who had come to his doorstep. _'He had some nerve._' Ed thought. '_You shouldn't pretend to be the dead_.'

His mean thoughts slowly faded away and turned into dreams. He dreamt of a man named Mustang.

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So I personally like this story. And don't worry. It gets better. PLEASE REVIEW!

(1) I just said that. I don't think they actually have planes, but… oh well.

(2) Are there phones? I think so…


	2. Dead Or Alive

So many people have reviewed and it's only been like 2 days!!! Sorry if this takes a while to update, but I want to make it good.

Words in this chapter: **1,832**

To **Rinagurl13**, sadness totally reigns. But I'm glad you like it.

To **yamano ringo**, thanks. Every one is saying there are phones, so now I know. And I'm glad it's sad, but don't worry, it gets better.

To **Keeper of the Times**, thanks. I am here by updating.

To **Hitokiri Musei**, yes, it's very sweet. Haha. And I officially return the love.

To **Sam**… do u have a real username? That'd be ozzum if u did. And yes I love sadness.

To **cuylerjade**, I love that you gave me advice. My stories shall now get way better because of you, and emotion is very important to me, so thanks. Hehe… I like emo dudes, so that's why its kinda emo I think.

To **Niver**, thanks, but do u have a real username? I want to read everybody's stories!

To my dear **I love Malfoy as a ferret**, I love when you review. I am thrilled that you like my story, but hey, I am updating as you 'o so kindly' 'suggested'.

Dear **Kuropuu**, I was going to put the whole time of Ed being pregnant here in this chapter, but I decided that if I was reading it, I would just want to skip to the RoyEd stuff. So off we go!

My dear **Clown Confetti**, I am pleased that you are happy to be the first reviewer. That makes me smile to see that you like it so much.

To anyone else that has reviewed, sorry that I didn't mention you. But I might next time.

Jeeze, get on with the story already!

As Roy got out of his small hotel room, he began to think of what he was going to tell Ed. "Oh hey there, Ed. I just wanted to say hi. Oh yah! Also, I am totally not dead!" Yeah, right. No one in their right mind would believe that load of crap.

But he had to see Ed, so he came up with a story.

8888888888

Ed woke up to the sound of laughter. A grin swept over his face even before he opened his eyes as he thought of his daughter. 'Nina.' He thought to himself. He sighed and pulled the blankets off of himself. He instantly regretted it; it was freezing. 'Dammit,' he mentally swore to himself. 'I bet she's freezing, too. (Sigh) I guess I'm not getting the 'Father of the Year" award this year.' Ed chuckled a bit and put on some clothes, then went to Nina's room.

Ed peeked past the slightly ajar door. Nina was on the ground playing with he stuffed animals. Ed's head was filled with grief. If he had only gotten a better job. If he was richer he could buy much better toys for her. If he… the list went on. Ed knocked on the door lightly and Nina turned her head around.

"Daddy! You're awake!" she walked up to him, pulled the door more open, and gave him a hug around the knees. Ed smiled and knelt down to give her a proper hug.

"Hey, honey. Did you have good dreams?" his voice was soft and so was his gaze.

"I had a great dream, Daddy. I was playing with Cousin Trisha, and we went to the park. We made friends with this little blonde boy. I think his name was… Fetcher. Or something." Ed picked his little girl up and started carrying her to the kitchen. "Did you have a nice talk with that mister, Daddy?" Ed sighed; he thought she'd forgotten about that. He decided to elude the question.

"So what do you want for breakfast?" He asked when they got to their kitchen. It was small, but had lots of cupboard space. It had a nice sink, and stove; the basics. Just enough for a small family like theirs. "We've got eggs, pancakes, waffles, toast, sausage, bacon, and hash browns." Ed looked down to the dark haired angel in his arms. He raised his eyebrows when no response came. "Nina?"

"Daddy, I want you to be happy." Nina took after Ed; she was very smart at such a young age. But apparently, she also was like Alphonse; very keen into peoples' emotions.

"I am happy, sweetie. I just…" Ed sighed and put the girl down. "I vote pancakes, sausage, and eggs. It shouldn't take that long; only about 20 minutes or so." Ed bent down and got out two pans. He didn't want Nina to see the tears in his eyes; the ones that were begging to spill out. Just then, the doorbell rang.

"Want me to get it, Daddy?" Nina asked sweetly. She could tell her father needed some time to himself. She smiled and headed towards the door slowly, waiting for his answer.

"Yeah, go ahead, Nina." Ed replied in a higher voice than usual. He was doing his best not to cry. "If they want to talk to me, just bring them here, okay?" Nina nodded and headed to the dining room, where the front door was.

Roy patiently waited for the blonde to open the door. Sure he was stressed. And a little nervous, but who wouldn't be? His lover had just slammed a door in his face less than 24 hours ago. Roy sighed, letting out the breath he had been holding in for quite some time. Of course Edward wasn't going to open the door to him. He had come back after 4 years, and just happened to say it was him right off the bat? Great way to say hello.

Roy straightened up as he heard little footsteps headed towards the door. He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. One could only imagine his surprise when a little girl opened the door.

"Hello!" she said, a smile gracing her face. She had raven hair, very close to Roy's. "Do you want to talk with Daddy?" her smile stayed, but there was a strong over-protective-ness in her voice. She seemed to not want Roy to come in, but would let him if need be.

"Yes, I do." Roy bent down so that he could be eye level with her. '_Golden eyes.'_ He told himself. _'Ed's eyes._' "Can I see him?" The girl looked down and let Roy in.

The house itself was fairly small; it was large enough for a family of 3, and only had one bathroom. However, almost all of the wall space was filled with pictures. Roy smiled at some, scrunched his forehead at others, and almost grew teary at a few. Nina led him down a long hallway. It wasn't the way to the kitchen, though. Nina wanted to chat with this new fellow.

"You're the man from last night, aren't you?" she asked, face down. Her small mind was overloaded with unanswered questions.

"Yes. Yes, I am. But that's why I need to see Ed. Can I see him now?"

"No." the girl was very straight foreword. "You're the one from the picture. You're him, aren't you?" Nina pointed to a picture. It was the one of Roy and Ed; Ed on his lap, Roy trying to read his book. Their last day together.

"Yes, but why can't I see him, Nina? If I'm in so many pictures, don't you think I'm a good guy?" Roy couldn't stand the way this _child _was treating him. Like he had done something terrible. Okay, he had left for a while… four years… but it wasn't like he had left Ed for some random chick or something. It was war; heavy duty war, with blood and guns and death. Roy had gone to keep it from Ed.

"You're the reason he cries." Nina's eyes were filling with tears as she looked up to the tall man. His face immediately was filled with a mix of confusion, pity, and even more confusion. "He doesn't want me to know, but he cries a lot. At night, he reads his letter that's on his table and cries. I hear it, but Daddy doesn't want me to. That's why I had to open the door today. He's crying."

Roy was in a state of total shock. This little, four year old, was telling him he had basically broken Edward. All of a sudden, the idea of the girl's age popped into his head. _'I left four years ago, and she's four. God, could Ed replace me_ that _fast?' _He was completely oblivious to the other figure near him.

"I'll take you to Daddy now." Was all she said. She pushed her freshly cut bangs out of her eye and started towards the kitchen. It took Roy a second to realize what was going on, but he followed her.

Ed had successfully burnt 4 pancakes, 7 eggs, and 2 pieces of sausage; a new record for the Elrics. He sighed as he threw another one of the burnt pancakes away… so that would make _5_ burnt ones. His breath was suddenly shortened as he realized that his Nina was no where in sight.

"Nina!" he called out worriedly. His heart began to pound in his chest. 'I swear if she gets kidnapped I'll never forgive myself!' he mentally yelled at himself for letting her open the door. No matter how emotional he was, he was the parent, and had to act like one. "NINA!"

As they came out of the hallway, the two dark haired beauties heard the cries of a certain blonde alchemist. "NINA!"

"Coming, Daddy!" Nina grabbed Roy's hand and pulled him into the kitchen. Roy, being completely consumed by his own thoughts, let her pull him.

As Nina pushed the door to the kitchen open, arms swung around her body, whispering words of worry. Nina blushed a bit, as she was still holding Roy's hand. Ed didn't even see Roy; the sight of his daughter was to blinding to let him think of who the man next to her was.

"You nearly gave me a heart attack, Nina." Ed said, combing his fingers through Nina's thick, soft hair. "That was worse than getting pregnant. You scared me so much. I didn't know where the fu- heck you were. Oh, Nina, thanks goodness." Roy had never seen the blonde act so lovingly towards another being, save for Al. Roy cleared his throat and decided it was his turn to speak. Luckily, Ed was still kneeled down holding his daughter close.

"Nice place, Ed." It wasn't what he wanted to say; it's just the only thing that would come out. Ed let go of Nina and stood up to glare at the taller man.

"What the fu-," he remembered the little ears in the room. "What the heck are you doing here, you bas-, you…" Ed didn't really insult people that much now that he was a father, so all he knew were his old insults, but he couldn't say them in front of his little girl.

"You've got a great kid, you know that?" Roy smiled nervously and backed up a little from the steaming alchemist. Roy knew he was pushing his luck, but he _had_ to talk with Ed.

"If you think I think you're Roy, you're wrong. Roy's dead." Ed practically spat the last words, but that was because he was holding back the tears.

"But it's me, Ed," Roy said, trying to coax the younger one to believe it. "I'm not dead, I'm right here."

"Prove it." The blonde said sharply. His head was tilted down, and drops of salt water were falling from his face. "Tell me something only Roy Mustang would know."

This was surprisingly difficult for Roy. He didn't really seem to have that much time to think though; Ed's patience was wearing thin. "When you were 11," he finally decided on a memory. "You and your brother, Alphonse, tried to bring back your dead mother." Roy stopped as Ed's head slowly rose. "That's how you got that leg, the automail one."

Gold met onyx and blonde hair was suddenly wrapped around Roy's body. "I can't believe it." Ed whispered into Roy's chest. "The letter, it said you died. And with me being with Nina-" Ed stopped mid-sentence. "Holy shit. Nina!" Ed let go of Roy and looked behind him… no Nina. "Where'd she go?"

"I heard her say she was going to her room." Roy said calmly. He then remembered what Ed had said when Roy had first been led into the kitchen by Nina. "Hey, Ed?"

Ed went up and hugged Roy again. "Yes?"

"Did you say you were pregnant?"

A/N

Ooo. Evil cliffy! Hahaha. But its like… 5 pages. Is that nice? I hope so. I had major writers block for a while. So please review!


	3. Dear Diary

So I got like a bazillion reviews. --Squeee!— (27 reviews is a lot to me) so I need to update… like… fast. And this chapter will be told in Ed's point of view, in a diary.

**I love Malfoy as a ferret, **haha. My evil plan of making people review is working!

**Tara**, yeah it's goin fast. But don't worry, I have a plan. I'm glad you enjoyed it

**Dark Angel Maybe**, yeah but this is a NEW Nina. He just named her after Nina Tucker. Yeah, I am gonna do a flashback in this chapter, maybe the next too.

**Fma fan**, thanks, and I'm glad ur having a laugh attack wherever you are. ;)

**Rinagurl13**, yeah, lots of people seem to think that was funny… this chapter has the explanation.

**Keeper of the Times,** yeah, it WAS sweet, wasn't it…

**Bubbles**, cute name. And yes, that's why I put a cliffy there. -

**princessOFdarkness**, yeah it's far fetched, but that's why it's a FICTIONAL story.

**The Vibes Alchemist**, here's ur update!

**Pink Shimmer**, I'm glad I could help solve ur problem. I wasn't sure if Nina was too smart, so thanks.

**Cuylerjade**, u left an ozzumly long comment. YAY! (Though I shall only reply a tad bit) yes, Ed has a bit of a pyro side too. I think. O well.

**Clown Confetti**, I'm glad u liked it! Yeah, I think Ed accepted it a bit too soon, but that's just me. Here's ur update!

Words: about

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I spent so much time with him, and then he goes off to war. What they hell? I mean we had it great; love, sex, each other… Man, I miss him.

So I guess it's actually my fault for not telling Roy. But honestly, who would believe me? Al didn't, Riza didn't, Winry didn't, hell, _I_ didn't. But the fact is, that man got me pregnant. How? Duh, that damn gate and all its shit decided it would be funny. Well, hope you're having a riot of laughter, because I hate life right now.

And Roy's gone. He fucking left me. Not like in the relationship, but he went to war. So now I'm all alone, and I want some pickles and cupcakes, and no one cares about how I feel! Damn them all!

So this thing has been in me for a little over 3 months. Woo. And already I can feel it moving. Is that normal? Oh, god. OMFG…… I am an atheist! What the hell is right with the world? I mean, WRONG! Wait… I need to go throw up.

**88888888**

So now people keep asking me if all my eating habits are finally catching up with me. I don't think I'm _that_ big! Honestly! But I think the people that I've told believe me now. After all, I look like Santa after a donut spree. I hope Roy comes home soon.

I got a letter from him yesterday. It was so sweet. He said he hasn't even gone out yet, but that it sucks because he's away from me. He's so sweet.

I sent Winry and Al to go get a pumpkin. Where the fuck are they? I want my damn pumpkin! No, I have to throw up.

**888888888**

So I am officially having a little girl. I want to name her Nina. Yeah, it sounds stupid, but I like the name. Plus, I feel bad that- I just want to name her Nina. I was gonna name it Trisha if it was a girl, when I didn't know, but Al had to go and knock Win up. Yeah, a new Elric is born. She has grey eyes like Al, and a personality like Winry; she likes to throw stuff. But she likes me. Even if I have to sit all the time.

My doc says I am due soon. What the hell does that mean? I am due in like, 4 weeks. Yip, FOUR. And the damn kid keeps kicking me.

I miss Roy.

No letters ever since that last one. I'm getting worried.

And Al STILL hasn't gotten me that ketchup. A tomato would be nice too…

**88888888**

A beautiful girl. Nina Mae Elric. I figured Roy would want to put Maes in there somewhere, so I figured, it's a girl… so there we go.

She's so beautiful. I bet every other father thinks so too, but mine is THEE prettiest baby girl on the planet. Wow, I sound like Hughes. Maybe it's a father complex or something.

I am sitting in the hospital, and Al's holding Nina. He's gotten the dad thing down. Oh well, I'll still be the better uncle.

Still nothing from Roy.

**88888888**

Raising a child is so fucking hard. The late nights, the long cries during the day, and the one hour naps… the list goes on. But I don't really mind that much, I just wish I had more help.

I mean, Riza or some one might come by every other day, but that's not what I want. I want my Roy back. But the damn war is keeping him away from m-

Nina just woke up and it's kinda hard to write with her in my arms. But at least she doesn't have to feel the automail. That's long gone.

I think Trisha's birthday is coming up. We should get her something. But what, Roy?

**888888888**

So Nina's 8 months old now. Man, she takes after Roy in the height department. But that's because I have to give her milk. I feel bad giving her that vile, but Win says babies need it. Man I hope she's right; I don't want my baby to like milk a lot. That'd suck.

I got a letter from Roy today. I can't believe it. He says he's written dozens of letters, but they all get lost in the mail. I feel so guilty. He also says he gets to fly. That must be fun. God, I hope he's safe.

Nina is having trouble sleeping. I'd better go before she starts to cry and I have t-

**88888888**

We had the best party for Nina's 1st birthday. It was even better than Trisha's. I kick ass at throwing birthday parties.

There was a cute cake that Gracia made, and everyone from the military (that I am "friends" with) came. Havoc made sure not to smoke, and I was majorly grateful for that. I don't want any children walking around with lung cancer from those things.

No letters from Roy. But that's okay. He's probably busy saving lives and stuff.

Holy shit. I'm almost 18. And I already have a kid and I'm living on my own. I guess Win and Al are in the same situation, but they're not alone. Dammit. Why am I always alone?

**88888888**

A letter from Roy came. He says that war is horrible, but he gets to fly. And he worries about me. Heh, he thinks I'm gonna go find someone else. Yeah right. Who would want a 20-year-old male with a 1 ½ year daughter? (Who by the way is mega cute)

Roy says he's coming home soon. Man, what the hell and I gonna tell him when he sees Nina? He's gonna freak out. But he says he always keeps a picture of me with him. That is so sweet. He signed it with "never forget me". How the hell could I do that?

Nina's walking! Man, she was trying to when she was barely one, but now she's practically running! She follows me everywhere, going "Dada! Wait fo me!" it's so cute.

It's time like these that I really miss Hughes. I think we would have a photo competition. Yeah, I like to take pictures. But I don't shove them in people's faces. Well, not _all_ the time.

**888888888**

I can't let Nina see me cry. But I can't hold it in, either. So Al offered to let Nina stay over at their place for a while. She can't see that her daddy's weak. I will never let her see me weak; I have to be doubly strong. But it's so hard.

The military sent me a letter. Roy's plane crashed and there are no survivors. I can't bare it. ----tears stain the paper---- He never got to see his daughter.

Or me.

**888888888**

With Nina nearing the age of two, and me nearing the age of 19, I feel that we should sell the house and get a place of our own. Easier said than done. It's Roy's house. Excuse me, it WAS Roy's house. Shit, now I'm crying.

**88888888**

The move was a success after all. So now we (Nina- 2, me-19) are now living in Central, that way I can be close to work.

Why does war have to be so shitty? I mean, dammit! I have tons of paperwork, and just because I'm a colonel now, doesn't mean I like doing all of it! I bet that's how Roy felt. Oh, Roy. Damn.

Nina doesn't know him. He's in tons of pictures that… that reminds me, I need to put them up… He's in tons of pictures that used to hang everywhere. I can't bear to tell her that's her _other _daddy. What kind of father would I be if I told her, "Hey sweetie! You were born because me and some GUY had sex! And I may look like a guy, but I have the ability to have children! WOO!" yeah, like I really want to scare her like that.

Dammit, I have to go to work. Fuck it all.

**888888888**

I haven't written in a while. Guess that's because I've been so busy.

Nina started preschool. She made friends right off the bat, and she has a play date tomorrow. All her little friends are kinda weird around me, though. Like I have cooties.

And I'm a general. Whoopdee flippin' do. I hate the military. But it pays the bills. I still hate it though. And I won't let Nina get involved either. That's too much for a 3 year old. Hell, it's too much for a 12 year old, but it didn't stop me. But I had different reasons. I won't let Nina even think of them. Not my Nina.

That makes me think of Roy. Damn. I haven't thought about him in a while. But lately, shit. Lately, I've been crying at work. Dammit. Roy's made me so weak I cry. I cry for him, me, Nina, Al, Trisha… damn it sucks. Everyone still tries to cheer me up every once in a while, but… I… can't. He's everywhere. I hate being 20.

**88888888**

Happy anniversary. Roy's plane crashed exactly 4 years ago. I have the day off. And I can't stop crying. ----Tears stain the page----

I can't believe it's been four fucking years, and I'm still not over it.

**88888888**

Nina's been so good at school. She might skip straight to kindergarten. Heh, guess having a prodigy father comes in handy sometimes! Woops. Anyway, I've decided to make a special dinner in honor of her.

It's great to get my mind off of Roy. ---Tear spot--- But I can't get over how much Nina looks like him. The eyes, of course, are like mine; golden. But her think, beautiful hair is raven black. Just like his was.

I can't believe how big she is now. She's so smart. Like Al, though; she can read people. Man, I wish Roy was here to see her. He would love Nina. Nina Mae. My little angel.

Nina's currently enjoying her dinner, while I'm cleaning up. Apparently _her_ day went well. She won't stop talking about it. It's so cute the way she ta-

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That was all in Ed's diary. I'm not sure exactly how Roy will respond to this… but that's for next time.

Please review! I love all of you who have, but I still like more!

---Dolly---


	4. yet another tear

So I think I figured out how to get Roy to respond. Think being the main word here. Also, I don't think I shall return reviews anymore. NOT THAT YOU SHOULD STOP OF COURSE!!! No, it's just it takes up so much room, and takes a while out of my typing time.

So here we go!

Ps, I am VERY sorry, but this is gonna be short, but I'm going away for the weekend. Ya, no internet! –dies— anyway, sorry that its short, I'm trying to update all my stories before I leave.

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Roy put down the journal. He never knew a guy could get pregnant. Let alone that he would keep it. Roy sighed and looked around the gigantic room.

_Ed had gone off make sure Nina was alright with a fresh batch of toast and sausage. It wasn't a lot, but he had burnt all the pancake mix, and didn't want to make any hash browns. So he placed that and a cup of orange juice at her place at the table. Nina smiled at her dad and Ed smiled back, trying to get her settled before talking with Roy._

_Roy, however, had been exploring the massive library that the blonde had. Obviously he had gotten more into other things than human transmutation, but there were a few dozen at the tops of some shelves that still remained. Roy smiled as he found even more photo albums; they reminded him of the way Hughes was- always taking pictures, then shoving them in peoples' faces…_

_When Roy came to a small, leather bound book, he was intrigued and opened it. It was the journal that he had sometimes seen Ed with, so he knew what most of the dates were about. When he came to one he didn't know, he began to read._

Ed came into a room while wiping something on his pants. "I swear," he was saying. "Sometimes I wonder how she can stay so clean. Eating is too fun not to get dirty." Ed sighed and stopped walking as he realized what the older alchemist was holding. "Oh," Ed looked down to cover his blush. He bit his lip and looked back up and snatched the journal out of the dark haired man's hands.

"Aw," whined Roy.

"So you come back after four years just to read some stupid journal, Roy?" He walked out of the library, expecting Roy to follow, who did. "I can't believe I hugged you. Da… I should… you are just so…" the blonde stopped and turned around to face Roy. He almost collided with the shorter alchemist. "You're totally throwing me off, here!"

"Well excuse me for not being rescued until a week ago!"

"I don't give a _shit_, Roy!" Ed let yet another tear fall. He hadn't sworn every since Nina was born. Leave it to Roy to bring it out. "I got fucking _pregnant_, and I wanted to tell you!" the man's hands were balled up in fists. "But you had to be so fucking sad, and pitiful, and so god damn…" He couldn't think of the right word, so he said. "Making me miss you. Dammit, Roy!" His breathing was hard and tears were spilling.

"Ed, listen, I didn't know. I couldn't possible know," Roy was having a hard time defending himself. Ed shook his head and started towards the living room; towards the front door. Roy followed him on his heels.

"No," Ed said, shaking his head and opening the door. "You can't possible know." He put a hand outside to show Roy to get out. But Roy didn't move. "Get out." Ed whispered. "Just-"

Ed was cut off by lips.

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I hope y'all don't totally hate me for this being so short. But it's big paragraphs… so…review?


	5. We All Fall: Crying

**Okay, I've been procrastinating long enough. Here's… something. Oh, and it's gonna be rushed because I honestly hate this story. It's not flattering towards my rep as a writer, and it's rather boring and rushed in a horribly bad way. Sorry for ending it like this, but something **_**must**_** be done. Kudos to those who actually give a damn about this story. I like you.**

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We All Fall: Crying

Ed was dizzy.

He hadn't eaten a lot recently, and hence he was almost twelve pounds lighter. He'd been working late and not getting a lot of sleep, too. Nina always wanted to play, but that was just for a bit when he was home. And then, he was making out with his dead lover.

The scene played out like it always did. Roy convinced Ed he was himself by some random stupid reason. Then Ed would take care of Nina, and then go find Roy. He'd try and get Roy out of the house, but they'd end up kissing, making out, and basically snogging all over each other. The dreams were always like that for Ed. And he'd wake up, tears gently falling down his face. He'd wipe them and go on with his day, trying to move on from the past that haunted him.

But his time was different. No dream Roy had ever gone slow, as if unsure. No dream Roy would just give little pecks. No dream Roy was that gentle, or kind, or patient. They would rush it all, making it harder for Ed in the morning to wake. No, this Roy was taking it slow, making sure Ed knew he wanted to kiss him harder _before_ doing so. Ed opened his eyes.

He still felt dizzy. And he still felt the lips on his jaw, working their way to his ear. Ed felt strong arms tenderly holding him up so he wouldn't crumble to the ground. He felt the breath reach his ear and heard the soft whisper.

"I would never die without telling you." said the whisper. "I would strive to live, if only to say three last words." There were fingers whisking on the skin of Ed's bare arms. "I love you." No dream Roy had ever said those words, no matter how hard Ed wished they would. So he pushed the Roy away, looking at him with sheer discuss.

"How _dare_ you." Ed hissed through his teeth, his eyes watering once more. "You come into _my _house, disturb _my_ daughter, kiss _my_ lips, and tell me you fucking _love_ me?" he glared at the fraud. The man looked extremely hurt, but so did paid actors. "The Roy Mustang that _I_ knew, that _died _four years ago, _never_ said love. He would say his only love is himself, being the egotistical bastard that he was." Ed felt the anger rising just mentioning the man so much. He felt a heavy pain in his chest.

Roy, or the fraud, as Ed presumed, was speechless. Sure, he had never told Ed he loved him, let alone anyone else. The last person he had probably said the words to was his late mother, may she rest in peace. (1) And yes, he had always said he loved himself more than anyone. But in his heart, as cheesy and corny as it sounded, he knew he loved Ed. He just never got the chance to say so. Or maybe he did, and he'd missed his chance. Roy's eyes watered too as he watched the blonde in cover his mouth and cough heavily.

"Dammit!" Ed swore as quietly as a yell could get. He glared at Roy. "She," he pointed up the stairs. "Is the only reason I'm alive, did you know that?" Roy didn't move; didn't answer. Ed continued. "I'm dying, but I have to make sure I last another fourteen years so she can support herself WITHOUT joining the fucking military." His words verbally slapped Roy.

"Dying?" He asked, his own anger fuming. "If your dying, why are you so happy, peppy, loving? Why are you still in the military? You know you could go off to war and easily die." He didn't notice the tears drip onto the carpet. He didn't notice anything except the blonde in front of him.

"Daddy?" she called. The men turned their heads, Ed not to cry; trying not to show the tears. "Why are you dying?"

Ed fell to the floor, his head in his hands. The tears fell freely now, even though they weren't the only noise in the room. Roy ran a hand through his hair and discreetly wiped his own tears away, unaware that the little girl had been watching him, her tawny eyes glaring at him through tears.

"And my soul…" Ed whispered as he heard Nina yell at Roy to stop hurting him. "…From out that shadow…" Roy tried to calmly tell Nina he hadn't done anything. "…That lies floating on the floor…" Nina let out a howl of a cry and Roy crouched down to Ed. "…shall be lifted…" The two men looked each other in the eye. Roy didn't know what to say. "…nevermore."

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**Made that up for plot thickening.**

**The last paragraph is the last line of The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe. Rather morbid, no?**

**Whew. Finished! I say nothing on the continuation, because I'm trying to finish all of the others before I start new stories. Sorry. But if you actually read this, thanks. This most likely doesn't fit with the rest of the story, but that's because the rest sucks and my writing's getting better. Well, I need to type others now, so… until we meet again.**

**To my reviewers, I'll treasure you always. **

**Love, Loser in the Gutter **


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